Feeling absolute terror

So today I started thinking about the people that were there at the hospital, one man in particular who calmed me down. I realize that I hadn’t thought about people in this way in a long time. That I wanted to go find him and thank him. And then that I just want to go show up so he’d notice me.

I realize that was my scared little girl. She’s just trying to pretend there is a knight in shining armor out there who will take care of us.

What kills me is that she thinks she’s the one that has to fix this. I can’t stop crying.

Here’s what I’ll tell her. You completely OK. There is absolutely nothing going on that I can’t handle. The reason that I can handle everything that’s going on, is because God is here with me. He is here with us. It always has been and always will be.

You know I’ve always wanted to have something broken, and this is really crazy, so I could just have somebody take care of me all day. God Finally let it happen. In my own fruit yard front yard, he had somebody come by that would get Steven for me out of the house. And then he had the neighbors come out. Let me go to the hospital without paying, Set me on a wild goose chase to a foot doctor that wouldn’t even see me, so I would go to JPS and find a whole bunch of awesome doctors and nurses and people.

Rent will be paid on Tuesday, and rent will be paid on time next month. We’ve got this. Only thing I need from you is to play and laugh and keep me laughing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *