It’s my choice what I believe. I was raised in a church where the sermon went, “here’s the scripture, some people belive this and some people believe that. Go choose.” All the things I thought I was “taught” – my perception of everything around me formed the beliefs I have. There’s no right or wrong, there’s no blame. It just is what it is.
Today I can believe whatever I want. I can believe that I’m worth it. I can believe that I’m fantastic. And that makes it true.
Of course I wouldn’t believe something like “I weigh 100 lbs” that would be delusional. But everything about my self worth – that I’m not a “dumb little kid” – it’s all up to me to choose what I believe. If some of it’s “wrong”, it’s okay, because it will get me where I need to go to find out that it’s wrong.
The last few days have been productive. Not a lot of fear. They’ve been good.
I have to make a decision – I want to rent this house for another year so I can save up to actually BE able to move next year. I want to work on my goals, and we can get an even better house next year, because I will be able to afford it. But S hates this house. Has from the first day. What do I do? He’s not bringing in any money. If the situation was reversed – I can’t even imagine that happening, because I would still be wanting to have “my own” money, stuff, say in situations.
tomorrow, I have to call the post office about the mailbox – the city about the mail not being delivered, because it’s their fault lol, and screw up the courage to see if we’d be able to still live here for another year.
Okay, good stuff!
